My brother and I suffered intensely from this. His was even worse than mine – he ran away from home, and the the folks had to call the police to find him – walking resolutely, down the road to the next town. He was maybe 4 at the time.
He knew a bad situation, and was walking away from it – the only sensible thing to do. Sixty years later, I did the same thing – I left Silicon Valley – and moved to Costa Rica – where I remain.
I didn’t have the nerve to write about this, until I got Mating in Captivity. And the section in the book where she says There Is No Love Without Hate:
Childhood is our basic training for power tactics. We have our will; our parents have theirs. We demand; they object. We bargain for what we want; they tell us what we can have. We learn to resist, and we learn to surrender. At best we learn to balance, to mediate, to understand.
I have not done a good job of this – and I have worked at it. And I see many other people who have not worked at – and have no intention of doing so.
And it has poisoned their lives.